Imagine Tales

He lay in the bath staring at the ceiling through wisps of steam, while his mind was trying to explain his earlier experiences. At the time it all seemed so real, but now it looked like the drugs and his own paranoia were becoming partners in the reality game. Monsters don’t exist, not in the real world he hated so much. The hot water did its best to relax his tense body, but his mind was still working overtime. He thought about needing more heroin, his death on someones agenda and why in Hell’s name had he hallucinated those creatures in all their sickly glory. His head started to hurt and his muscles started to twitch and convulse as his body and mind cried out for another hit. Darren dragged himself out of the bath and walked into the other room, leaving a trail of wet footprints across the threadbare carpet. He picked up the various tools and supplies for his temporary escape. He placed the tools and substance of his addiction on a chair by the bath, and began the preparation for loading the syringe. He stepped back into the bath and slid into the warm comforting water. He reached over for his belt, and tied his arm ready for the delivery. This was the last of his stash, after this it is either face those who he has crossed or face cold turkey. He would face that bridge later – for now he could escape once more.

He found a vein amongst the various pinpricks trailing along his arm. They looked like a highlighted journey on a map, except the map got you nowhere good in the end. Picking up the syringe, he flicked it, making sure there were no air bubbles. Get one in your bloodstream and it could kill you. He considered the irony, if that finished him off. He found the spot, feeling the point of the needle on his skin. He applied force and the needle went in cleanly. He pressed the plunger and the brown liquid shot into the vein, to mingle with the weak red blood that flowed through him, keeping him alive. The hit was almost instantaneous. He sunk into the bath, the now murky water lapping at his lips. As he lay there in a self-inflicted state of paralysis, he stared passed the ceiling, his mind somewhere else, no longer in the same scape as his body. He sunk further and further into the water. Like Moses parting the Red Sea, the water flowed vertically down as he fell below the water level. Like the giant waterfalls he had seen on television, mist erupted as it fell upon his flesh. The turmoil of liquid ignited the senses of his skin. The pressure pushing down and the heat mildly scolding, but all pleasurable as it scoured his sins away. He let himself sink deeper and deeper into the bliss that wrapped him up and made everything safe again. No one could touch him here, no one. Those who wanted him dead could do their worst, he would live forever if they found him now. He looked up at the rectangular hole in the water above him, it seemed so far away now. He could only see the ceiling above him and the naked light-bulb that steamed in the moisture-filled air. He could not see the bathroom walls or the door. This was when the bathroom door opened and a figure moved towards the bath.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

As consciousness swirled back to Darren, he felt about six foot under, in the grave of his own digging. When will the maggots come and take what is left of his flesh, to release him to another existence, a second chance to feel alive? He looked up at the ceiling of his bedsit. The ceiling was a murky yellow colour, years of smoke and living had produced a masterpiece up there, and he could see patterns and shapes on the blotches and damp stains. He saw a barren desert with small settlements of mould. As he stared, the ceiling had moved. This was normal, the visual distortions of so-called reality brought on by his choice of addiction, if he could call it a choice now. The atmosphere in the little room had become oppressive, the air heavy and difficult to breathe. The cupboard loomed over Darren, its doors slightly ajar. His mind started to play tricks – something in the closet was looking out, one eyeball peered from the crack. Its iris studied Darren on the floor in his sorry state.  He could see the thing in the closet looking at the puddle of piss on the floor between his legs, the acrid smell making him feel like an incontinent old person who belonged in care. Darren looked away from his mind’s invention of self-judging, knowing it is just his head messing with itself.

His eyes traced back to the ceiling and its swirling desert storms, and as he stared harder, the lines of yellow started to move. The shades changed colour, only slightly, hints of other colours mixing in with the tobacco yellow. Shapes were forming, they formed creatures from the dark places. He could hear voices hissing and wet tendrils slithering like eels caught in a net. Darren felt a dead weight all over his body, more than is usual for his state, his brain ached and thumped. He closed his eyes to the forms on the ceiling, the darkness engulfing his brain, as did the entities he was trying to hide from. He could see them clearly now, no longer were they patterns on a stained ceiling but images in his head. They looked too real to be the drugs, the edges too clear and crisp, the detail intensely sickening. These creatures with drool falling from salivating mouths, between razor-like teeth. Their eyes bulging from half decayed sockets and stems, tendrils reached out to grab at him, he could feel the cold, damp secretions of these monsters. The smell that came with them was worse than any cesspit he had called home over the years. It felt like barbed wire being pulled through his nose and throat, his stomach convulsed and he vomited, still the stench was drawn into his lungs, his eyes started to stream. The noise they made became louder and louder, it made his ears hurt and the intense riot of screaming, insane laughter and stomach-wrenching noises overtook his senses, it felt like his head would explode. He continued staring at the evil which clawed at him, the smell burned his insides, the primeval grunts and groans too loud.  Darren screamed and opened his eyes. They were gone, it was just the same old yellowed ceiling, no monsters, no pounding noises and no vile smell, just him and his room. Darren breathed a heavy sigh of relief. He noticed the puddle between his legs was growing as his mind and body relaxed and escaped into unconsciousness.

Darkness had fallen by the time Darren woke up. He could feel stinging on his thighs, remembering that he had pissed himself. Suddenly, Darren remembered the ceiling and the horrors he had seen. He looked up and started to shake, and then relaxed when he saw his ceiling was still just the ceiling and not horrific entities trying to take his pointless life to another place, a place worse than this. He got up and put the light on, a dull light spreading across the room. He went to the cupboard and opened it, screaming as he fell to the floor expecting to see glistening teeth surrounded by decaying lips, wanting to smother him in fatal kisses. Darren lay there for a few seconds, then realised that what had come from the cupboard was only junk. He started to laugh, more of a delirious giggle, growing louder until his chest started to hurt, but the laughter would not stop. A coughing fit took over the insane laughter and Darren forced himself to calm down and sit up. He started to wonder if he was finally losing it, too much heroin and too much paranoia. Leaving the contents of the cupboard on the floor, he stood up and shuffled to bathroom to run himself a bath.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

The tap dripped repeatedly, as it had done all night and the night before that, as it had done for weeks now. The water droplets had become a repetitive beat, the beating of a solitary drum, reminiscent of the last beat to be heard before criminals were hung in old London. Darren stared at the drips, watching for them to fall and disappear. He had stared at the tap now for a couple of hours, looking deeply at the lime scale which had built up around the drain hole. It’s porous miniature landscape showed hills and caves all in a scaly white-brown colour. The surface looked like his life, potentially clean white mixed with a brown sludge and full of holes. It looked like hardened heroin – there was his brown sludge, too many days and nights lying in his own faeces with his mind in that place that hides so much of his fucked up excuse for a life since he became a so-called man. The holes in his life mixed in with the dream induced shit, those holes of a caring woman, not the whores or rabid junkies he had quelled his urges with all those months ago. It had been too long now, but he didn’t care any more, those blurred evenings were stale now, as was he.

The only reaction he showed now was either tears, violence or silence. He felt numb to anything that life could throw at him, nothing mattered any more. Well, apart from the numerous people who wanted him dead, including himself.  But that was his choice, not anyone else’s. That’s unless God got in way, if he can? It was his choice when to extinguish his life. This was an insane stand considering he knew of at least one hit have been put out for his life. The problem he had was that his soul-destroying habit cost money. It’s a catch 22, you’re too trashed or ill to earn money; at least legally, anyway.  Mugging and robbery usually worked, but these days it’s not enough money and you usually end up running from guns protecting their owners’ homes and purses. He tried drug running a few times, but temptation got too much and a non-delivery earned his first hit to be taken out on him. The police got involved when the hitman fucked up and shot a kid dead, while only crippling Darren’s leg. Once in hospital, he told the police that he knew nothing. Then they showed him a photo of himself alongside spent cartridges, the photo taken from a distance and obviously without his consent, more like a paparazzi shot or surveillance. Darren broke down and told them everything, and once he was healed the police approached him again, this time they offered cash and protection in return for information.

It was easy money for stitching up mates, not that they were mates, only associates. Any one of them would stab you in the back and sell your clothes if they could get scag for them. But the police weren’t interested in punters, they wanted the dealers. Those who served death or salvation at a price, depending on who you spoke too. He had given them names and details, enough to put many of them away. As tax payers’ money rolled in along with seized goods, so the enemies built up along with the paranoia. Now his front door has not been opened for over a month. The stash that Darren had stockpiled to keep him going, while he hid and tried to find a way to escape from the hitmen, was rapidly depleting, only enough left for a day at the most. Darren felt panic spread through him like a bush fire – he can’t run out now, by now most people knew of his dealings with the law and he will only get a kicking or worse if he tries to get any more scag. That was it, he needed to relax again. He forced his eyes away from the dripping tap and walked over to the small table. He looked at the burnt spoon and the needle, and in less than three minutes Darren was on the floor. The needle dropped from his veins with a little squirt of blood. Something in the room breathed in anticipation.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5